If the current state is the tragedy, I'm terrified of the farce.

My favorite systemdisms:

* (already mentioned several times above; sorry) even detached and nohup'd processes will be killed if the systemd context that transitively led to the creation of the process is killed: https://bugs.debian.org/cgi-bin/bugreport.cgi?bug=825394

* mounts being in a separate "mount" namespace that is not accessible normally: http://www.volkerschatz.com/unix/advmount.html