Yeah this is absolute shit, and it appeals to a very specific kind of "driven" people. Nothing against them but they need to realise that most others just want to enjoy their short time on this planet. I'm happy with my really mellow stable job that leaves me plenty of free time to do the things I actually want. Life is too short.
And then there are many people like me who work a job they hate, still don't get much time to enjoy life, all just to pay the bills. Less time on the planet might actually something many of us look forward to as life is full of pain and misery.
I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive but this is something I've never understood. If life feels like this, that seems like an indicator that it's time for some massive change. Usually people give some vague abstract response about why massive change is just unrealistic, indicating some fragile house of cards, while in a simultaneous act of cognitive dissonance dreaming of the day it topples.
Perhaps we could: sell everything and move into a van to live on the road; or get a cheap house boat; or declare bankruptcy and move into a Buddhist monastery; quit jobs to transition into a more mindless one that allows more free time; find a nonprofit organization in a different country to throw oneself into; teach English in a foreign country; etc...
It's like, when we're brooding so much that we're done with life, it just seems like that's the best time to give life a chance, because at that point there's nothing left to lose.
I think the biggest thing is that life can suck in any of the alternatives. Human suffering is universal. People are reluctant to switch if there isn't a well defined value proposition. Life is about trade offs, so there isn't a perfect solution. Even living very minimally is expensive due to things we have little to no choice in like taxes, medical stuff, etc.
Sure, I could go live in a cabin in the woods. That will mean my wife divorces me, I'd still need a job to pay for taxes and medical bills, I would likely end up incarcerated for not being able to pay child support, and loose the cabin/land anyways.
To drill down on your response here, is it that you’re frustrated by not having those options?
I get being frustrated if your dream is to live in a cabin in the woods. But it’s hard to fathom being frustrated if you value the relationship with your wife more than living in said cabin. What are the underlying expectations from your life that you feel shut out from? Based on your earlier post, the only expectation seems to be “not to work in a job I hate” which seems completely attainable.
If I’m prying too much, just feel free to ignore me.
How would you define “a job you like” and how much would you have to make to pay your bills? Are there main drivers for those bills like high cost of living, medical issues, student debt?
At this point, I don't know what job I would like. The biggest part would be a place that actually follows their own policies and doesn't violate them to the detriment of the employees. Sadly I feel that would happen anywhere.
I could work with $80k per year if the healthcare and other benefits are good. It would also be nice to have the ability to advance and make it to a tech lead at $120k.
Obligatory not GP, but fee very similar. To me, “job I like” is a very difficult category for me to explain. Normally, when browsing jobs, I see something I think would be cool to work on. Most things disinterest me, so I maybe will see one of these once every few months, always woefully unqualified. There’s not really a specific domains, industry, etc. tying them together, just me thinking it sounds cool to work on.
> Perhaps we could: sell everything and move into a van to live on the road; or get a cheap house boat; or declare bankruptcy and move into a Buddhist monastery; quit jobs to transition into a more mindless one that allows more free time; find a nonprofit organization in a different country to throw oneself into; teach English in a foreign country; etc...
You are making the extremely generous assumption that the person is unbound and able to effectively disappear with no responsibilities to anyone other than themselves.
Among the truly miserable people I have encountered, the most common reason was bearing the burden of one or more dependents. A little sister with severe mental health problems, a sick parent unable to work, a drug-addicted and orphaned nephew. Can't exactly sell the house and move to Japan when your sister needs her SSRI and therapy to not hurt herself.
And the second most common reason was having little or no income at all, for whatever reason, in which case getting a job that they hated would _already_ have been a step up.
> Perhaps we could: sell everything and move into a van to live on the road; or get a cheap house boat; or declare bankruptcy and move into a Buddhist monastery; quit jobs to transition into a more mindless one that allows more free time; find a nonprofit organization in a different country to throw oneself into; teach English in a foreign country; etc...
Name one of those things you can do when you have family members depending on you.
To ignore that element just telegraphs a complete lack of understanding of the basic premise that underpins human existence.
To ignore that element just telegraphs a complete lack of understanding of the basic premise that underpins human existence.
It's true family is extremely important and clearly I personally do not have much in the way of familial ties (though not by choice). If I'm speaking from one extreme, it seems like you are speaking from the other extreme. The premise of one person's existence isn't the same as the basic premise of all human existence in general. We all have different experiences.
