I had a rough 2020-2022 and one thing that made a difference was starting a personal writing habit with two main components:
1. Daily writing which summarizes the day and gets off my chest any minor things that are bothering me.
2. Deep dive writing focused on a particular issue that I struggled with before and is inexplicably still on my mind. (Implying that I haven't fully processed the issue)
I also started collecting stories of people who confronted difficult periods in their life. It was helpful to know that I wasn't alone and also to see that others faced much more difficult challenges than I have. I actually started a newsletter about it, shameless plug: https://hardmode.substack.com/
I'm not sure if it's mental health, but in support of mental health is proper sleep with Huberman's favorite tip: get outside early in the morning and in the evening. Getting fresh air and light in the morning just feels great.
One last key thing was paying attention to my limits. It sounds terrible but I found that I went nuts when I was spending more than x hours with my son each day (on average). So the solution was to find babysitting help so I could stay at x hours per day or less. I felt guilty because I thought x was low, but after asking a few close friends they understood and actually thought my tolerance was pretty high. So also staying anchored in the real world rather than trying to meet an imaginary expectation that only I have.
Thanks for sharing. Hope you’re doing well now. Wondering where do you write daily, is it like a physical diary or digitally?
I’ve started writing of late, but I like writing on a physical diary. The only problem I’ve with physical diary is searching the entries based on a word - which I often find myself in the need of.
I started with a physical diary because I'm obsessed with Muji pens and enjoyed the ritual of putting pen to paper without distractions. Later on I transcribed all the old entries to a journaling app because I filled the notebook and wanted to throw it away. I still use pen and paper sometimes. It feels more "intentional" somehow.
It would be a meaningless data point without the necessary calibration, so that's why I left it at x. Some kids can be left alone to play nicely, others require constant supervision, discipline, redirecting of their energy, etc. The folks I talked to already knew my son and had similar kids / challenges of their own.
1. Daily writing which summarizes the day and gets off my chest any minor things that are bothering me.
2. Deep dive writing focused on a particular issue that I struggled with before and is inexplicably still on my mind. (Implying that I haven't fully processed the issue)
I also started collecting stories of people who confronted difficult periods in their life. It was helpful to know that I wasn't alone and also to see that others faced much more difficult challenges than I have. I actually started a newsletter about it, shameless plug: https://hardmode.substack.com/
I'm not sure if it's mental health, but in support of mental health is proper sleep with Huberman's favorite tip: get outside early in the morning and in the evening. Getting fresh air and light in the morning just feels great.
One last key thing was paying attention to my limits. It sounds terrible but I found that I went nuts when I was spending more than x hours with my son each day (on average). So the solution was to find babysitting help so I could stay at x hours per day or less. I felt guilty because I thought x was low, but after asking a few close friends they understood and actually thought my tolerance was pretty high. So also staying anchored in the real world rather than trying to meet an imaginary expectation that only I have.