I think you are misunderstanding the whole topic. Obviously it's about software at scale. Picking the right solution for a problem is kind of the whole job of software development.
I have gone through the migration of monoliths to microservices (yes, at scale with multiple teams and requirements to scale individual components etc.) and it solved a lot of problems.
The benefits outweigh the costs in my opinion (and drastically so).
When people say "you can write well separated components in a monolith..." I can only say: of course you could, but you are not going to (and certainly not everybody at your giant ass company is going to).
The problem is that most of people don't work in a giant ass company and so don't have the same problems you've had have, and thus they can achieve the same easier, faster and cheaper with monoliths - but they don't because of the hype.
I have gone through the migration of monoliths to microservices (yes, at scale with multiple teams and requirements to scale individual components etc.) and it solved a lot of problems.
The benefits outweigh the costs in my opinion (and drastically so).
When people say "you can write well separated components in a monolith..." I can only say: of course you could, but you are not going to (and certainly not everybody at your giant ass company is going to).