I can always depend on these kinds of articles for the sin of omission. Unrealistic standards for women ... nevermind the standards women have for men.
Pre-web, I worked at a dating service. I've mentioned this before here. Women rated their preferences as having a higher importance than men did, over and over again, and on the most depressingly stereotyped vectors: money and height. Then you have your deleted OKCupid blogpost about how women rated eighty percent of men as being "below average" in looks. Then you will hear about the three sixes (figures income, feet of height, and ...) The unrealistic standards affect both sexes and pretending that they do not is quite literally part of the problem. These products can exist because men who are more or less invisible in the dating market still crave affection and attention. The only advice seems to be "date harder, loser."
Entire economies are driven by men attempting to attract women, from limb-lengthening to Jackass-style stunts to impressive cars. There's a lot of guys who are doing their best and just get swiped away. If they want a little intimacy, ersatz or not, they are going to try to fulfill that desire, and once Real Life fails them hard enough, this looks like an option.
What the author of this piece should be terrified of is if men figure out a way to stop desiring affection, attention, and all of that. Not just an end to libido, but for the desire for romantic companionship. It will make The Pill look like nail polish in terms of impact on civilization.
What’s deeply weird to me is I see these stats, I see incels complaining about this… but then every time I go to the gas station or grocery store there are plenty of poorly-dressed guys with beer guts and nothing special going on in the face department, with reasonably- or even quite-attractive women.
Like, there’s probably more going on in some cases than meets the eye, but that can’t explain most of them. There are too many.
Instead, it looks like having some traditionally-masculine interests and skills and having your shit together enough to afford payments on a mid-tier pickup truck is kinda all it takes.
Is it a matter of geography and culture? This is a red state, on the boundary of a rural-urban divide. Maybe that’s the difference? But I hear about what people experience on the Internet, then look around when I go outside, and damn, it sure doesn’t look true.
> I can always depend on these kinds of articles for the sin of omission. Unrealistic standards for women ... nevermind the standards women have for men.
Yeah, but a charitable interpretation is that this is the female perspective and anxieties on AI porn/relationships/intimacy.
I'm sure there have been articles that focus on the male exploitation(emotionally, economically, etc.) these services do without mentioning the female body image issues they may exacerbate.
I'm charitable up until this is pointed out as A Problem, in the "golly, we should do something about this!" sense. Then ... then I want to see a little balance and a wider perspective.
This article goes past the "I feel insecure!" and into the problem territory. She's not at the "let's make policy" level yet, but make no mistake, she doesn't like that this exists.
Pre-web, I worked at a dating service. I've mentioned this before here. Women rated their preferences as having a higher importance than men did, over and over again, and on the most depressingly stereotyped vectors: money and height. Then you have your deleted OKCupid blogpost about how women rated eighty percent of men as being "below average" in looks. Then you will hear about the three sixes (figures income, feet of height, and ...) The unrealistic standards affect both sexes and pretending that they do not is quite literally part of the problem. These products can exist because men who are more or less invisible in the dating market still crave affection and attention. The only advice seems to be "date harder, loser."
Entire economies are driven by men attempting to attract women, from limb-lengthening to Jackass-style stunts to impressive cars. There's a lot of guys who are doing their best and just get swiped away. If they want a little intimacy, ersatz or not, they are going to try to fulfill that desire, and once Real Life fails them hard enough, this looks like an option.
What the author of this piece should be terrified of is if men figure out a way to stop desiring affection, attention, and all of that. Not just an end to libido, but for the desire for romantic companionship. It will make The Pill look like nail polish in terms of impact on civilization.