My dad has maintained relationships very well throughout his life. He's 70 now and still has friend from high school, college, old co-workers, former bosses, former employees... he gets together with people regularly for lunch, golf, or whatever. He takes a road trip once a year and stays at several people's homes on the way down. When I was growing up it was very normal for him to run into people he knew regardless of where we were in the country.
One thing I've seen him do, which I have a real hard time with, but it seems to be successful, is he makes the effort without judging the other person.
>I’ll invite an acquaintance to get a coffee or beer with me a few times but never have this acquaintance seemingly think of me if I’m not directly asking them to hang.
When my dad talks about it, he says that he recognizes people are busy and if someone doesn't reach out, things go on the back burner. Making plans isn't easy, and many people will accept plans or even want them, but have too much other stuff going on to spend the time to do it.
I'm pretty sure he schedules when he follows up with people so the ball doesn't get dropped and the relationship is maintained. Every few months I'll get a call from him asking to get together for dinner, it's completely one sided, but he never holds it against me. He knows I'm busy with work and stuff.
If people are accepting the invites you make and not making excuses, that must mean they still want to see you.
I always assume people are busy or don't want to commute. I had a friend reach out who I text with regularly, but haven't seen in 2 years. He asked if I wanted to go to a concert. I said sure, and we went. He lives 1.5 hours away. I would have never thought to ask him to go to a concern on a Wednesday that would require him to make arrangements for his kids, spend 3 hours in the car, and all that... but apparently it's something he's willing to do. Who knew...
One thing I've seen him do, which I have a real hard time with, but it seems to be successful, is he makes the effort without judging the other person.
>I’ll invite an acquaintance to get a coffee or beer with me a few times but never have this acquaintance seemingly think of me if I’m not directly asking them to hang.
When my dad talks about it, he says that he recognizes people are busy and if someone doesn't reach out, things go on the back burner. Making plans isn't easy, and many people will accept plans or even want them, but have too much other stuff going on to spend the time to do it.
I'm pretty sure he schedules when he follows up with people so the ball doesn't get dropped and the relationship is maintained. Every few months I'll get a call from him asking to get together for dinner, it's completely one sided, but he never holds it against me. He knows I'm busy with work and stuff.
If people are accepting the invites you make and not making excuses, that must mean they still want to see you.
I always assume people are busy or don't want to commute. I had a friend reach out who I text with regularly, but haven't seen in 2 years. He asked if I wanted to go to a concert. I said sure, and we went. He lives 1.5 hours away. I would have never thought to ask him to go to a concern on a Wednesday that would require him to make arrangements for his kids, spend 3 hours in the car, and all that... but apparently it's something he's willing to do. Who knew...