How do you define thinking?

Being fast at doing linear algebra computations. (Is there any other kind?!)

Making the OP feel threatened/emotionally attached/both enough to call the language model a rival / companion / peer instead of a tool.

Lolol. It's a chess thread, say it.

We are pawns, hoping to be maybe a Rook to the King by endgame.

Some think we can promote our pawns to Queens to match.

Luckily, the Jester muses!