FY HN is pretty strict about article titles.

It's not clear to me if what I wrote is wrong. How should I re-write it?

The HN title should match the original title of the article, unless the original title is misleading or linkbait.

We're specifically trying to avoid the Reddit-esque practice of writing a title to draw attention to something specific in the original article or make a claim about it. That's not fair to the authors/publishers of the original article, or to the audience.

If you want to draw attention to something in the article, you can do so in a comment in the HN thread.

Maybe this new title is what is needed.

Just look at the faces of these two men. Make your own judgement about their mental state.

Please don't editorialize titles. The guidelines are very clear about this:

... please use the original title, unless it is misleading or linkbait; don't editorialize.

Also, mainstream politics news is off topic on HN. We make exceptions when it's a major breaking event, i.e., something that can be reasonably characterized as an "interesting new phenomenon".

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html